arranged marriage

An elderly patient was brought in by his daughter in law. He does not speak english (Pashtun) so she translates for me. Her husband sometimes brings him and I have chatted with him as well. They are fascinating people.

On this day I learned that theirs was an arranged marriage. I dont know why that surprised me. Perhaps it is that they both seem so ‘western’ and that this occurred in England. She is very happy with the outcome and indeed by all accounts he is a very good guy.

I was even more surprised (shocked) actually that she wanted her kids to have arranged marriages. Here in the States! I don’t know her kids but that seems rather unlikely, after being exposed to our culture. My own kids hardly listen to me when I tell them what time to come home, much less who they will date or marry.

I certainly do not think that choosing your own mate is all that superior. The decisions are made much more with momentary passion than cool judgement. But I certainly would not have accepted what my parents would have picked for me, for I saw them mired in a world long since passed.

I am still surprised by new things, part of the fun of being on the front lines of medicine.

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