You put what where? Are You effing kidding me?

03/07/2009 at 12:41 AM Leave a comment

True story about a real man, a tough man, perhaps not a brilliant man. He came in with a rash in his private area. He had gone to Phoenix for a conference and picked it up there. After a quick check that it was not one of those: What happens in Phoenix stays in Phoenix situations (it wasn’t), I took inventory.

The area was red, inflamed swollen without any clear signs of infestation (crabs), fungus (tinea), Allergic reaction ( poison ivy) or anything, just diffuse inflammation. Severe inflammation, but it did not seem to be giving the guy any problem.

So he told me his home remedy. He had seen tiny specs of blood and was sure it was an infestation ( he is probably  correct) so he decided to go nuclear. He started with Clorox–yes the stuff that destroys everything including skin cells, then he rubbed pet anti tick lotion on the area ( he figured out the dog stuff was stronger than the human stuff) and he finished it off with rubbing alcohol. I think my own privates retracted into my belly after hearing this.

At least I knew how his skin was so inflamed. and to his credit he probably did kill anything living in that area. Now I just have to calm the skin down.

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Entry filed under: humor.

Teens in danger True story, true grit

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