skin in the game part deux

05/18/2009 at 5:32 AM Leave a comment

My oldest is going to college. The financials are shocking. Even with saving since she was born the cost of college has outpaced everything else, with the possible exception of medical care. But I have been the lone voice in the wilderness insisting that my daughter have some skin in the game. It is not our parently duty to pay her college, regardless of the cost. I believe it devalues the experience. And I see it in young patients all the time. 

It is not that they might not be doing well enough at school, it is that they are not making the most of it. What other expensive thing do we choose not to get the maximum value? We buy a Ferrari and then drive it at 10 mph? or ignore it? Not hardly, yet we will spend much more than that on an education and not show up for class, not keep up, try to cram it all in for finals.  How sad.  Of course there are some like me, that will get the most out of it , regardless who paid ( excuse me for being a nerd), and there are some that you cant motivate with a fire. But a good many value their money and having some skin in the game does focus their mind to make most of that opportunity.

I tell parents that not only do they not have to pay for everything , that just like any other scholarship they need to require some minimum standards, after which the funds dry up. the parents know what their kids are capable of, so I have yet to meet a parent that demanded too much. They demand nothing or not enough.

Life is hard ( I read that somewhere). Treating them like babies only enfeebles them. We have a nation of enfeebled young adults ( largely men). push them out of the nest, they need to fledge and figure this life out. better at 19 than 39.

Tell them your doctor told you to do it.

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