Of Daughters and Dads

06/10/2009 at 6:16 AM Leave a comment

Today is the day I have been suspicious of for three years. It is hard to believe it actually arrived. My first child, Holly, graduates from High School. The end is at hand. It would be cliche’ to say that I have mixed feelings, and it would not be entirely accurate. Mixed feelings are what I have been having for nearly three years when it hit me this day was coming.

It happened at Virginia Tech during a family vacation. I am a Hokey alumnus and I was biking through the town reminiscing about my college days, checking out my old haunts. It was August and it seemed that every single new college student arriving was a daughter with her dad. I remember thinking that some day that would be me with Holly, perhaps in 5 or 7 years. Then my brain unbidden started doing the math. ‘No idiot, it is not 5 to 7 years, it’s not 4 years, it is less than three years!” I remember that instant because three years seemed like a blink in time.

Today I have mostly sad, melancholy feelings. Sad for the end of an 18 year part of my life that I loved. I absolutely loved being a Dad: the interaction, the watching, the teaching, the drama, the beauty coming out. I still have a younger daughter so that part is left, but today it is clear that the fat lady is warming up.

Today I am not ready to think about the next part of my life. Yesterday was about parental pride. She recieved two awards and they talked about what a wonderful person she is. Today is about parental loss–good loss, but loss nevertheless. She will be leaving at the end of summer to a school over 1000 miles away. A very clear break. Much like her dad did, 36 years ago. Today begins the life adventure her Mother (mostly) and I have been preparing her for.  

Please pass more tissues.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

is that the adjective you want to use? really? Skin in the game

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